you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Randomize
