shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
