last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
