You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
She needs sedatives and a leash
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
