Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
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