I'm eating all of the evidence.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
