Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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