don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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