remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
