Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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