He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
