Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Randomize
