I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
