I don't remember. Are we still dating?
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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