went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
