thus making me awesome and them whores
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
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