nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Randomize
