Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
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