If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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