Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize