my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
