I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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