i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Randomize
