I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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