I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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