So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
