Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Your topless pictures make me question reality
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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