After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
