I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Randomize
