There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Randomize
