I think i sorta joined a cult last night
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
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