I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
