If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
