Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Randomize
