is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Farmville is her only friend.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Randomize
