I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
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