I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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