so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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