this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
