Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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