Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
