Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
