I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
