She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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