home. puking in laundry basket.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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