I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
