marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
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