Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
