i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Randomize
