I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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