How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Randomize
