yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
