I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
