it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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