Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
