Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
