I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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