playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
