addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
