Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Success! We fucked roommates!
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