It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
