Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Randomize
